Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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