I CAN MOONWALK!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
