im having a threesome with these popsicles
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
