marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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