Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
