a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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