pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize