"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
love makes seman taste better
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
