I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize