I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
