trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
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Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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