So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
How's work?
Spinning.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
