She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i will never coherently bang her
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
