I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
