is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We are all done wearing pants today
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
