Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Randomize
