Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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