holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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