Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
