It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
