I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
worst night to have a conscience
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
