He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
