I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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