can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
