I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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