are you still at the devil's house?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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