I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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