Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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