1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
