I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
