it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm getting married
To pizza
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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