i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
