after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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