sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
