my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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