I could have mohawked her pubes.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
