That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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