dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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