Nicole vs. Life
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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