Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i think my mom watched the whole time
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
