i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
there's paper in my vomit.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
