Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
