My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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