the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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