We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
