I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
