I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
