woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize