i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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