Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
