Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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