She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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