Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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