Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
