haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
