Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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