In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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