I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
