Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
