yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
