I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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