so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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