i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He kissed a someone with a penis
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
