I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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