GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
