i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
