I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
