I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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