when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
