Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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