Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she told me i tasted like america
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Randomize
