I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
